Imposter Syndrome and ‘Thinking Differently’
or
‘Comparison is the thief of joy’
(Teddy Roosevelt)
“If you knew that everyone in the room had the same insecurity how would that change your outlook?”
(Kim Morgan and Geoff Watts ‘The Coach’s Casebook’)
When walking into a room (be it virtual or real) many of us automatically carry our inner doubts, tucked away where they can’t be seen…or weighing us down perched shoulder high. We self-judge and find ourselves wanting in a game of compare and contrast that only some of us are playing.
The reality is that we just DON’T KNOW how others are feeling and we don’t know their motivations and inner dialogue. We don’t know whether we are surrounded by others, each of whom has a shoulder high inner critic – or surrounded by those who are blissfully content in their non-imposter syndrome fuelled world… because they all seem marvellously the same to us: better equipped, more successful, more confident. In fact, ‘better at what they do than I will ever be’. So remember; we just don’t know.
And how does this work in our virtual world? Does a zoom room provide the same forum for our inner critic as a real room? More so? Less? What about Linkedin – does that count?
Thinking Differently – a beginning:
Acknowledging the reality of our inner dialogue begins to open our minds to the fact that the difference between ‘us’ and ‘them’ is our thinking. And it follows that if we can learn to think differently, we can stop making negative comparisons and silence (or at least significantly quieten!) our inner critic.
We can process what we read, hear and see online through a ‘thinking differently’ filter.
Practice believing that the posts we are intimidated by actually could come from someone with their own inner critic riding high, for example.
We can ‘read our own posts from a distance’. Wow – what might someone else’s inner critic tell THEM about what they read, or see in me?
In the game of ‘compare and contrast’ those of us who compare end up only diminishing ourselves in our own eyes. Imagine taking a snapshot of successes past and present, achievements, mistakes and learning. Practice taking joy in them.
If we compare ourselves to others, we may be left with feelings of inferiority or superiority. We thrive by learning to ‘think differently’.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
(Teddy Roosevelt)
'Lofty Thinking' by Di West, Personal and Leadership Coach (ACC)
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